Warmongerers chatting bare shit again. 

Over the past month, we’ve received an early Christmas gift: a barrage of weak-chinned, privately-educated, Middle England journalists and politicians getting moist and sticky over bombing yet another Middle-Eastern state for democracy, much like we did to Gaddaffi, then Saddam, then Gaddaffi again, now ISIS.

This time, however, after having their arguments already decimated during the hugely unpopular Iraq war, they have instead decided to cry about it.

The artist formerly known as the Middle East, now a piece of concept art made of glass, dead bodies and rubble, has long since been one of the West’s favourite things to meddle in when it runs out of money, oil, or both. We used to do it in Africa, but now we let the ANC do it for us. ISIS, a modern, murderous death cult often equated with fascism, though its similarities end only in that both are products of the current and most modern variation of capitalism, have provided the perfect pretext for ramping up the violence Syrians and Iraqis already face on a day to day basis.

This has been well supported by absolutely no-one but well-off journalists and the right wing of the Labour party, who have surpassed even a few Tories, who were reluctant to extend the decade-long campaign of bloodshed. The reasons against British involvement in Syria are endless: first off, it is already being blown up by Russia and America. When I say ‘it’, of course I refer to Syria itself as opposed to ISIS, as the bombs seem to have a selective trajectory and only fall on hospitals, schools and homes.

Second of all, ISIS itself is a product of intervention. When it first arrived on the scene and began to tear up the Iraqi countryside, before the western media suddenly decided it cared, it was countered with very little resistance from the Iraqi people, exhausted by war, with no infrastructure to care for them. In Mosul, soldiers abandoned their posts instead of defending the city from ISIS’s brutality. The gaping power vacuum swallowing up Iraqi politics, as it bounced from Ayad Alawi to Maliki, as well as the fact schools, hospitals, power stations, workplaces had been bombed to rubble, only strengthened the possibilities for ISIS to gain control of various regions, which they have. This isn’t the first time intervention has failed, in fact, it is just one example in a long line of failures, from Chechnya to Vietnam. And, if ISIS’ amassing influence is anything to go by, it is still failing.

You’d almost think that the war was some last-ditch attempt at garnering some financial spoils in a country where economic growth, which despite all the cuts to services by both the Labour Party and the Tories which has led to numerous deaths and Dickensian levels of poverty, is practically non-existent. So instead of aiding our own failing hospitals, schools and services, we’ll use what little revenue we have in the public arena to fund a war bombing another nation’s already-obliterated hospitals, schools, services and civilians in order to take out dictators we armed in the first place.

As if bombing Syria wasn’t enough, hundreds of Iraqis have now been banned from taking the British government to court should any abuse of Iraqis by the British army occur, in what is being heralded by a British army colonel as a ‘triumph of common sense’ as it might be stressful for the soldiers who have been accused. The Express and its subscribers can be forgiven for not knowing the meaning of common sense, as none of them possess a shred of it.

In fact the whole media onslaught around this fresh wave of ‘democracy-from-above’ has been centred on emotions rather than rationality, and the emotions of those doing the bombing no less. At the same time, they have been viciously and vehemently attacking the soft left, which, in either their psycho-sexual liberal bloodlust or general stupidity, they have curiously mistaken for the hard left.

Eustonite weirdos, such as Nick Cohen, have declared the left as doing nothing more than moral finger waving in response to, you know, not bombing people. Cohen, who has spent the past 20 years lost in the wilderness of his own imagined intellectual prowess, is like a dog that keeps shagging your kitchen table and getting splinters in its penis by fucking your furniture up. You take it to the vet, get a new kitchen table and hope it’s learnt its lesson, but when you turn around, Jesus Christ, it’s doing it again. From his ivory tower, Cohen has not helped the Iraqi people following the war he so passionately was in favour for in the aftermath, neither have the rest of the Eustonites who seem to believe that if you’re not for aggressive American and European imperialism, you’re essentially George Galloway and a supporter of Hezbollah, obviously. Sadly, we’re a bit smarter than that, Nick. And leave my damn table alone.


           ‘Wow, this picture arouses me.’- Majority of British journalists, 2015

He, and the rest of his merry band of largely and horrendously middle class, male, over-pampered, misguided and emotionally stunted gang of Eustonite pals have also logically worked themselves into a strange position: the left is awful, disorganized and idiotic, yet somehow powerful enough to convince a large majority of the British population war is a bad idea. I suppose such rational fallacies occur when you make your erotic imperialist fantasies your political standpoint.

In addition, the hypocrisy of the the liberal right is such that they too, moralise, only theirs is a disingenuous morality which is shaped by whatever dribbling, ostentatious article they are torturing us with. Whereas the majority of British anti-war sentiment comes from a place of concern for the welfare of the people in those countries (as well as the sons and daughters of the working class being enticed by Call of Duty-style propaganda into a seriously underfunded army which can’t offer them the basic physical protection, which often leading to them coming home in body bags, because of course it is not Cohen et al who are enlisting however much we wish they would) for the right, on the other hand, their selective passion for the safety of LGBTQI people or women seems to only reveal itself with regards to Muslims, nothing else. For years following the war, the daily violence in the lives of Iraqis, Syrians, and people all over the Middle-East was barely newsworthy.

Thankfully, the right discredit themselves not just by being politically immature and contradictory, but just being themselves. John Rentoul has a picture of himself giggling with Blair as his Facebook timeline banner and has liked his own page on Facebook. Yes, you read that right. He liked his own page on Facebook. He also posted that genuinely terrible Hilary Benn speech three times in three days, which is the Blairite equivalent of sharing your favourite fisting video on Porn Hub to your friends and family on social media: i.e. fam, keep it to yourself, some of us don’t want to know.

Asides from the Eustonites and Blairites and their crazy, irrational war fetish, journalists have also accused the left on twitter, which amounts to about 8 of us (If I want some balding, pasty-faced, 40-something geezer venting his sexual inadequacy on me by shouting me down I’ll step outside my own front door, thank you very much) launching a tirade of abuse against MPs. There are many examples, and by many, I mean two. One, a particularly nasty twitter troll tweeted to Caroline Flint ‘”I hope you will feel collective guilt when hundreds of innocent people die as a result of that decision. Have a nice day.”’

  1. Jesus Christ.
  2. “Have a nice day”- the most British abuse ever. One can only aspire to such levels of passive aggression.

It shouldn’t need to be said that bombing a country itself is not only a form of bullying, it is peak bullying: you couldn’t bully anyone more, even if you tried. Does Flint really believe that innocent people won’t suffer as a result of airstrikes?

British military strength is laughable, particularly in comparison to the might of our American and Russian counterparts. One only needs to look at our transport system to realise that, even though both Labour and the Tories may insist on it, the chances of our airstrikes accurately taking out ISIS fighters with little collateral damage are minimal.

There have also complaints that twitter trolls, the hard left by which they mean the soft left, are in fact raging sexists for challenging female Labour MPs instead of limiting them to the remits of their gender and thereby patronizingly accepting everything they do as virtuous. The same female MPs who have voted for cuts to women’s services and the NHS, and who are now bombing the women of the Middle East and their children, the largest group to be victims of intervention airstrikes. Let’s be clear: the MPs and media darlings who have suddenly decided upon feminism as a way of defending their terrible politics only demand feminism of the liberal variety for their own: if you’re a working class woman, a working class woman of colour, or god forbid, an Arab woman, then you need to shut your mouth before they shut it for you. A very one-sided sisterhood indeed.

Following that, the attacks on the left, including rather nasty and peculiar attacks on individuals, the left as collective, attacks on Muslims as a collective, and indeed, the entire working class by the government and media mysteriously vanishes when it comes to their own sensibilities being on the receiving end. Freedom of speech for those who have the most freedom, it seems, while the British, Syrian and Iraqi population has to make do with physical, systematic, emotional and institutional attacks on ourselves as individuals and as a community.

Attacks which make very little sense, like Alan Johnson, former student leftwinger and communist attacking Left Unity member Simon Hardy for being a student leftwinger and communist. Like Batman vs the Joker in Dark Knight, only Johnson lacks the Joker’s gravitas, charisma, charm and wit.

Unlike the mild-mannered peaceniks on Twitter, we need to ramp up the aggression and severity of our criticisms. We are unable to do physically, systematically, emotionally and institutionally at the moment, so we must use every channel available to us in the meantime. We should not let them rest one minute as they have not let us rest either. They are weak, exasperatedly out of touch, politically and intellectually redundant, cowardly, inept, disgusting human beings who have never suffered and deserve nothing more than to be reminded of their inadequacy.

By treating them with the respect they sorely do not deserve, we are passively bending over backwards for these people. They have been spat out into existence, constantly told their opinions are worth more than us, they are worth more than us, given a far better standard of living than us, more opportunities than us, and now we let them insult us, bully us and send us to war for them. The reality is, they are, in fact, beneath us. Their extensive educations have clearly no bearing on their actual intellectual platforms, their journalism is appalling, and they act for us rather than be our elected representatives.

Whereas we were once oppressed by towering, bearded dictators like Henry the Eighth or Genghis Khan, we’re presented with the absolute worst of the English middle and upper classes, which, frankly, is a bit of an insult. Instead of the grand old warlords of yore, we now have fucking Hilary Benn. It’s like a circus, but instead of clowns we have wastemen.

So to the British government and media, fuck you right back.




  1. Mate, you claim to have “studied the middle east” on Twitter when your LinkedIn profile clearly says you have an OU degree in IT. That’s just embarrassing.

    Also, you might want to look up ‘Tito mass graves’ (you know, the Tito you have in your Facebook profile pictures) before lecturing other people about being blood thirsty. Pick up a book for crying out loud.


    1. My little sunbird, your stalking skills could do with a tad more finesse. I will be studying IT at Open U very soon, I am already enrolled.

      Second of all, the Tito picture is for lols.

      I see you haven’t actually added anything to the debate apart from creepy references to my online persona, so that’s all. Bless you and have a nice day.


  2. Wow. Must have taken some effort to stalk the author (badly – how do you manage to fuck up stalking?) via social media and put together that completely inane comment. I was wondering if you had any other talents? Conceptual dance? Throat singing?


  3. You listed a degree you don’t even have yet? Well done numbskull, that’s not really what the site is for. Glad to see that your potential future qualification in IT makes you more qualified to discuss the Middle East than an actual IT qualification though.

    Alan Johnson wasn’t a left-wing student, he wasn’t a student at all.


  4. To the darling NOPE: I’m impressed that now you need to have a degree in something to re-assure idiots that you know what you’re talking about. Cause self-teaching, personal interest in the subject and information as an act of active citizenship means nothing whatsoever. In a country where to get a degree today means to get in debt for life and – most of the time – be taught employability skills rather than critical thinking, we should stop this snobberism of “oh god you don’t have a degree in *environmental science or sustainable development* and therefore how dare you claim you have a valid opinion on *climate change*”, and instead maybe learn via the means available and constructive discussions?
    *change field to whatever you prefer*
    I’m also impressed that you’re comment doesn’t really comment on the article. But hey, everyone is free to express themselves, even if it’s just to take space and make no contribution to the discussion.
    To Emilymuna – Great post, spot on, and keep it unapologetic! Cause the murderers never apologise unless it’s politically convenient for them.


  5. Hi ‘NONE’! (AKA Matilda Murday). When you’ve removed your tongue from Nick Cohen’s arse, you might actually have something sensible to say. In the mean time, LOL.


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